Dugout Song

I have no clue what my dugout song would be. Probably a song that I wrote. It'd be the best song in the world. Period! Like this song------> Sunshine-Atmosphere 

Blog on that Blog that Blogs on Blizzogs. Bloggah!

Blogging is probably the best/worst thing to ever happen to the world. 

Best reasons for it being the best: It allows people to post their opinions in a safe environment where they wont be bullied for thinking differently than they do. Wait...that can happen. Scratch all that. You can let people know about things that they need to know. But do they really need to know about what you post? Deep questions that require deep thoughts. Deep. Now I'm at a loss for words. I really don't know what else is so good about blogging. Whatever. 

Best reasons for why it is the worst thing to ever happen to this planet: Because The Holy Jeez said so. Suck it!

DJ Name Suckas

My DJ name would be "DJ Scratchatory Rape". No, it really wouldn't be, but that would be funny as all magoo. Most people would disagree but they can all go....nevermind. The Holy Jeez will refrain from verbally lambasting everybody that can't take a dang joke. I think instead I will watch this brutal video. Suckas. Ruin-Lamb of God

Meh. Seriously?

Meh.                   

The Holy Jeez has put some long and serious thought into the meaning and overall existence of the word "meh". I have come to the conclusion that I could really care less and that I'd rather watch this video. So Real-Jeff Buckley

 

Advice For Owners of Pets

Basically here it is. If you live in an apartment don't get a big dog; its cruel and unusual. Get a cat or a tiny dog. Feed your animals the stuff that they're supposed to be eating. Most of the stuff is common sense, the only thing that is really hard is training your animal. Thats mostly what gets people. If you want advice about training your animal go ask an actual dog/cat/porpoise trainer, they'll set you on the right track. Hopefully.

Too Dang Creepy

Holy Jeez Magoo Balls, this picture has got to be the weirdest dang thing the Holy Jeez has ever laid eyes on. Please let me know what you think of it and the best way to destroy that thing with the crazy eyes. Those eyes will haunt my dreams forever. 

http://bugi.oulu.fi/~heikkiv/chan/wtf.jpg           Check it out.

Another Top 10

I could do a million Top Tens for basically anything in my life. So this one I will do for my Top Ten favorite songs. Although my Top Ten for songs is constantly changing, The Holy Jeez will rack his brain for his favorite ten right now. Enjoy. 

1. Ave Maria-Andrea Bocelli. A masterpiece performed by one of the masters. Pure gold.

2. So Real-Jeff Buckley. A beautiful song that sinks its hooks into your soul and drags you to the depths and back.

3. Face of Love-Eddie Vedder & Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. It's hard to explain in words the way I feel when I listen to this song. A most excellent collaboration. The Holy Jeez is pleased.

4. Kill Your Mother, Rape Your Dog-Dying Fetus. The carnal growls on this song are amazing. End of story.

5. Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife-Mastodon. King Diamond-esque falsettos and brutal ass lyrics. Only the best.

6. On The Eve Of War-Jedi Mind Tricks. Angry underground Hip-Hop. Dope.

7. Those Whom The Gods Detest-Nile. A song about rebellious Egyptians that won't read a specific spell out of the Book of The Dead. 

8. Bleed-Meshuggah. Extremely catchy song, insane double bass action.

9. Hold Ya Head-Notrious B.I.G.. Sweet integration of Bob Marley, definitely worth listening to.

10. Creep-Radiohead. Last but not least, Creep. Classic for the ages.

Thus Spake The Holy Jeez.

8.

Cowabunga Dude!

It may be hard to believe but The Holy Jeez did have a hero. In fact four. Four giant green, shelled mutants known as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Their ninja skills and totally radical lingo had at hello and waiting for an equally impressive sequel to their live action movie. 

Health Shtuff

I was reading about how experts feel that in the state of Illinois sexual education is decreasing and STI's are increasing. I could really care less about it, it's the individuals own fault if they don't care enough to learn about safe sex. It's a good joke when people blame the school systems or the parents or anyone else that they can place the blame on. If all these hooligans getting STI's and stuff think they're mature enough to have sex, then they are dang mature enough to learn safe sex. There is no excuse. 'Nuff said. 

Chuck Norris Joke/American Idol

The best Chuck Norris Joke. Ever. Seriously.

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium. 

The Holy Jeez is pleased.

Also on the agenda is American Goblowyourselfupyou'recollaboratingwiththeManIdol. It is a touchy subject since I the Holy Jeez was asked on numerous occasions to be a judge in Paula Abdul's place. If Paula's not there, I'm not there. But any who, this Lee DeWyze cat surprised me, and the Holy Jeez does not surprise easy. In fact I think someone should get that guy a medal or a rhino or something...but back to the point. The shocking discovery is that he is in fact shorter than the Holy Jeez. His impressive lung power and lordly guitar skills almost make up for it, but in my book: Stature=Status.

The Holy Jeez' Top Ten List

These are ten things that I want to know more about, just to show that even The Holy Jeez is just a man. A burly genius man who most of the male population looks up to and admires. But still a man. Here is that list:

1. Life.   Pretty straight forward but complicated to the point of insanity.

2. Music.    Basically the same as life, just sounds a whole lot better.

3. Spirituality.   Let Life take Music out to a nice date at the local Steak&Shake and you get the love-child known as Spirituality.

4. Proper Hydration.    Even a perfect athletic specimen such as The Holy Jeez can struggle with Proper Hydration.

5. Crying Lizards.   Have you ever seen the Crying Lizards eyes? They're a lot like dolls eyes, all cold and lifeless like. Except they leak blood. Who will save us now?

6. Huge Fish.   Who wouldn't want to know more? Seriously.

7. Death Metal.   From the grittiest gutturals to the carnal screams of the Underworld, I must know more about this music played straight from the harps of Satan himself, Death Metal.

8. Underground Hip Hop.   Self explanatory. 

9. Slander/Off Color Comments.   Only for educational purposes would I like to know more about the raunchiest slander out there. You dig my damie?

10. BMI.   What in the Holy Jeez is BMI? Can't doctors just call me fat instead of saying, "Your BMI is well over average...you have two months at best." Acceptance is a good friend.